Leatherpage

Introduction by Abby Tallmer, Recipient of Leather Community Research and Journalism Scholarship

Abby Tallmer — Wed, 05 Sep 2012 01:27:57 +0000

by Abby Tallmer

I am both thrilled and honored to be the recipient of the first Leather Community Research and Journalism Scholarship awarded on behalf of Leatherpage.com by Leland Carina. The privately-funded scholarship for research and journalism funds travel and lodging for a weekend-long stay in Chicago, providing an opportunity to conduct primary research at the Leather Archives & Museum (LA&M) as well as a one on one meeting with Rick Storer, Executive Director of LA&M. According to Leland, my first duty as recipient is to introduce myself to you, no small task. So here is my initial attempt:

I grew up in the West Village and was the child of lefty progressive parents. I am a working class femme queer writer and veteran BDSM, LGBTQ and AIDS activist who has been out as queer, femme & kinky to myself and my partners from age 15 (circa 1975). A determined and adventurous teen living in then very permissive New York City, I snuck into BDSM clubs and venues as often as I could from age 16 on, and I have been an official member of the local NYC and national BDSM community or scene since I first joined LSM as an underage derelict in the very early 80s. Other BDSM/leather organizations I belong to or have participated in include TES, the Leather Town Hall (founding member), Folsom Street East (longtime volunteer), Leather Pride Night (longtime volunteer), as well as many ad-hoc groups concerned with advocating for sexual minority rights and sexual freedom.

My personal and professional life and work have centered around issues relating to sexual minorities and sexual minority rights, sexual identity, BDSM/kink identity, freedom of expression, feminism (especially anti-censorship, sex-positive feminism), femme and bottom visibility, and many other topics. Subjects of special concern to me include racial and economic justice, equal treatment for sex workers and for transgender individuals, and combating violence against sexual minorities, sex workers, people with AIDS, and other vulnerable communities. Since 1981, I: have been a long time activist on issues relating to sexual freedom, sexual minority rights, and freedom of sexual expression (all from an out BDSM identified and BDSM inclusive perspective), as well as on racial, gender, sexual, and economic justice; have conducted dozens of presentations and workshops to local groups, national groups, and national conferences on various subjects related to the lesbian, gay male, heterosexual, and pansexual BDSM communities; have written, spoken, and taught on a college level extensively and in detail about various aspects of the history of the lesbian, gay male, heterosexual, and pansexual BDSM communities; have written, spoken, and taught on a college level extensively and in detail on the importance of preserving, archiving, and transmitting BDSM history; have written, spoken, and taught on a college level extensively and in detail on methodology and procedure necessary to properly archive, preserve, and transmit BDSM community history as well as the history of other sexual minority groups; have written, spoken, and taught extensively and in detail across the country on the subject of people with AIDS, women with AIDS, AIDS prevention (including AIDS Prevention for people in the BDSM community), and the rights of people with AIDS; have written and spoken extensively on the subjects of sexual minority rights (including BDSM Rights), freedom of sexual expression (including freedom of expression for BDSM identified people), and the importance of the First Amendment and of anti-censorship activism (including anti-internet censorship) from a pro-BDSM, sex-positive feminist perspective; have written and spoken frequently on the subject of hate crimes, hate groups, and violence against members of the BDSM community and other sexually stigmatized groups.

I am also, importantly, by trade a freelance writer, and a former archivist & librarian who specializes in researching leather/kink history of all sorts. I recently had a memoir/essay called “Losing the Meatpacking District: A Queer History of Leather Culture” published in the book “Best Sex Writing 2012″ (Cleis Press, Edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel & Susie Bright, 2012); in it I describe growing up as a young queer/femme/kinky girl in the 60s, 70s, and early 80s in the then-thriving (largely gay male) BDSM community of underground clubs and dungeons that could be found in areas of New York’s West Village now known as the Meatpacking District. This piece is my attempt to discuss or describe the impact that urban gay male sexual venues & gay male sexual culture, especially gay male SM culture, of the period had on my own developing queer-femme-kink-bottom female sexuality. It is also my attempt to both capture and pay homage to New York City in a time just before AIDS and to the pre-AIDS adventures some of us female queers shared with our gay male brothers back so many years ago. I have also published many articles relating to leather history in the LGBTQ and alternative press in various periodicals over the years; my pieces have appeared in Gay City News, GO Magazine, and many other LGBTQ alternative media outlets, and in the book “Caught Looking,” a much-reprinted anthology of feminist anti-censorship writing about pornography and the so-called “feminist sex wars.”

I have never been to the Leather Archives & Museum since as a freelance writer/researcher I am always tight for funds. I intend to use this scholarship award as an opportunity to spend a concentrated period of time at the Leather Archives and Museum doing some original primary research, both to supplement my “Losing the Meatpacking District: A Queer History of Leather Culture” piece & also in relation to some other related leather history writing/archival/history projects of mine in various stages of germination, including a book-length project I’d like to do about NYC’s (largely, though not exclusively queer/gay male) underground network of private & commercial BDSM sex clubs & NYC’s overall underground BDSM community of the 1960s, 1970s, & early 1980s whose members & institutions were largely wiped out by the AIDS crisis &/or closed in response to draconian health care laws resulting from AIDS panic.

Although I have worked as an English teacher, a professor of Queer Studies, and a professional archivist in the past, I currently consider myself an independent scholar of BDSM/Leather History (especially though not exclusively Queer Leather History) and I make my living as a freelance writer who is always looking for other gigs. I can be reached through Facebook or via email at atallmer@gmail.com.

Leatherpage Scholarship Awarded!

Leland — Sat, 01 Sep 2012 22:51:40 +0000

Congratulations to Abby Tallmer of New York City!

Abby has been part of the NYC queer leather scene for more than 30 years. She recently had a memoir/essay called “Losing the Meatpacking District: A Queer History of Leather Culture“ published in the book “Best Sex Writing 2012″ (Cleis Press, Edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel & Susie Bright, 2012).

I will leave it to Abby to further introduce herself and the work she plans to do for Leatherpage. Suffice it to say that I am extremely excited to see what she will come up with.

Leatherpage received many very strong applications for this scholarship. It was very heartening to read through them, to see direct evidence of people with amazing skill sets who are dedicated to research and journalism in our community.

The experience of receiving and reading these applications was very moving. I am going to try to secure more funding so that Leatherpage will be able to offer additional scholarships.

If you have any leads for organizations that would like to combine efforts, please get in touch with me.

Race’s bar September 2012

Leland — Wed, 29 Aug 2012 23:45:20 +0000

With major thanks to Race Bannon, here are his calendar entries taken from Race’s Bar kinky gay men’s group. If you want to know more, check out Race’s blog.

The purpose of this doc is to list all of the kinky/sex events in San Francisco so group members have a one-stop location for everything going on in the upcoming month or so. I’ll start adding content to this doc soon. Please do not edit this page. Post any event you want included on the group wall and Race will update this page as he can.

SAN FRANCISCO EVENT CALENDAR

Make sure to look farther down this calendar at some of the links under Kink Event Resources that will list recurring or other events that this calendar might not otherwise capture.

Check out Scott Brogan’s latest calendar entries in the B.A.R. http://www.ebar.com/arts/art_article.php?sec=leather

Check out the San Francisco Bay Area Leather Alliance Calendar. The Alliance keeps a great calendar of events in the SF/Bay area. http://www.erobay.com/calendar/Calcium40.pl?Op=ShowIt&CalendarName=Leather_Alliance

During San Francisco leather weeks centered around Dore Alley/Up Your Alley and Folsom Street Fairs, make sure to check out Folsom Street Events’ calendar to. http://www.folsomstreetevents.org/leather-week/

Ongoing Events

- Leather Buddies, Blow Buddies, 4th Wednesday of every month (but always check against their website). http://www.blowbuddies.com/

- Golden Shower Buddies (piss event), Blow Buddies, 2nd Wednesday of every month (but always check against their website). http://www.blowbuddies.com/

August 27, 2012

SF Ring presents Topping from the Center, D/s, M/s Dynamics, with Master Morris , Club Eros, 2051 Market Street, SF, 7:30 p.m. – 9:30 p.m., entry is from 7:00 p.m. No charge, no pre-registration is required.

August 30, 2012

Hot Draw! – Thursday, August 30th – Mark I Chester hosts an erotic drawing group for gay men in his studio at 1229 Folsom St. between 6:30-9:30pm. Open to sketchers of all skill levels. Depending on the model, erotic, fetish, leather and/or bondage poses. Call 415-621-6294 to reserve, the day of the sketch session. We are a friendly, fun group of men who enjoy doing erotic drawing in gay male company. http://markichester.com/hotdraw

September 2, 2012

- Eagle in Exile, 3-8pm, Beer Bust + Bands + Benefits Sunday beer bust, meets Thursday Night Live filled with cheap beer, familiar faces & loud tunes, El Rio, SF.

- GearUp’s Labor Day Gear Bust, Pilsner Inn, 225 Church St., SF, 3:30-6:30pm. https://www.facebook.com/events/267764260000904/

September 7-21, 2012

Tough Love: A Half-Century of Masculine Homoerotic Imagery from the San Francisco Bay Area. Artists include Chuck Arnett, Mike Caffee, Mark I. Chester, Jok Church, Cricket, Dennis Kennedy, Jim Leff, Les, JoJo Mendoco, Daniel Nicoletta, Jeremy Novy, Michael Palmer, Eric Robinson, Michael Rosen, Sarge, Uyvari, Jim Wigler, Zach…and More! Center for Sex and Culture, 1349 Mission, SF. http://gayhighwaymen.wordpress.com/tough-love-a-half-century-of-masculine-homoerotic-imagery-from-the-sf-bay-area/

September 13, 2012

Kink Crusaders documentary screening, LGBT Center, 1800 Market Street, SF, 7:30pm. https://www.facebook.com/events/148054478660055/

September 15, 2012

BLUF Invasion! Bar meet for all gear men, sponsored by BLUF men of San Francisco (BLUFsf) every 3rd Saturday at The Lone Star Saloon, 9pm ’til closing. Just follow the smell of leather to the back patio… Find us on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/groups/170995339630761/. Discover BLUF: www.bluf.com

September 16, 2012

21st Annual LeatherWalk, benefiting AIDS Emergency Fund (AEF) and Breast Cancer Emergency Fund (BCEF), is the official kick-off for San Francisco’s Leather Pride which culminates the following Sunday, September 23, with the Folsom Street Fair. Visit www.leatherwalk.org to see the current list of teams, download pledge sheets and sample solicitation letters, and learn more about LeatherWalk.

September 19, 2012

Leathermen’s Discussion Group Folsom Fetish Fair, 7:30-9:30pm, SF Citadel. https://www.facebook.com/events/413131895410271/

September 21, 2012

- FULL FETISH San Francisco will be held at Sound Factory, 10pm-4am. Presented by RECON.com. Experience a European style play party!

- Hell Hole, UP YOURS, 8pm-2am, Mr. S Playspace, 385A 8th Street, SF.

September 22, 2012

Join the Golden Gate Guards Rainbow Leather Cruise. We will cruise past Treasure Island, Angle Island, Sausalito, Tiburon, Alcatraz Island, take a turn under the Golden Gate Bridge at sunset and return to Pier 3. Hot Leather men and women, Complimentary Sailor Cap, Pin and Lei. Late afternoon box lunch, Cash Bar, DJ & Dancing a great way to kick off Folsom street fair weekend! $75.00 per person. Check in 3:30pm Boarding 4:15pm Departs 4:30pm Returns 7:30pm. Benefits PAWS and SF Night Ministries. For more info & tickets, go to www.ggguards.org or https://www.facebook.com/events/171923142939208/?notif_t=plan_user_invited

September 22, 2012

Magnitude will be held at Sound Factory, 10pm-4am

With full dungeon downstairs. And dancing upstairs.

September 23, 2012

Folsom Street Fair, www.folsomstreetevents.org

Main stage bands. Two dance areas. Women’s play space.

Erotic artists’ area. Over 200 exhibitor booths for kink shopping!

September 29, 2012

- Alden Spafford Memorial Progressive Dinner, 6-9pm. Contact the Rubbermen of San Francisco for tickets. http://www.rmsf.org/lets-do-dinner/

- RED MEAT, party for redheads and their admirers, Beatbox. More details soon.

September 30, 2012

Michael Zane’s Copper’s Dream Rescue Titleholder Fundraiser. More details soon. http://www.coppersdream.org/index.html

October 7, 2012

Eagle in Exile, 3-8pm, Beer Bust + Bands + Benefits Sunday beer bust, meets Thursday Night Live filled with cheap beer, familiar faces & loud tunes, El Rio, SF.

October 9, 2012

Leather Alley Organizing Committee (part of the Leather Alliance) meeting, SOMA Inn Cafe on Folsom between 7th and 7th, 7pm. It’s not a huge place, and it might be very difficult if they end up with a hundred people crowded in there. (Note: On July 19 at a Leather Alliance meeting a number of community members came forward to discuss the direction for Leather Alley at Pride and the Leather Alliance was extremely open and gracious when listening to the input. The Leather Alley organizing committee would like to solicit commuity feedback about how they might change and improve on the format and create something that honors our place in the greater GLBT community and still allows them to do outreach. The Leather Alley organizing committee would like to hear any comments, ideas and suggestions from this group’s members, and others in the kink community. And when it comes time for Leather Alley, they can always use help setting it all up and running it too. If you have input regarding Leather Alley, send it to Rover at sfbikerider@yahoo.com.)

October 10, 2012

Leathermen’s Discussion Group Mentor Program kickoff meeting. LDG has a great mentor program for those wishing to seek out a mentor in the leather/BDSM/kink scene. Newcomers, or anyone who feels that a mentor might help them better navigate the scene, are welcome to apply. If you are interested in help finding a match with a mentor, let Richard Sprott (the main program organizer) know at sfleatherdaddy23@earthlink.net. Richard can point you to more information. http://sfldg.org/show_event.php?id=1345736970_884587

October 20, 2012

_ Fist City – Monthly fisting party for guys that like to play hard with few rules, Mr. S, 385A 8th Street, SF, 8pm-2am.

- BLUF Invasion! Bar meet for all gear men, sponsored by BLUF men of San Francisco (BLUFsf) every 3rd Saturday at The Lone Star Saloon, 9pm ’til closing. Just follow the smell of leather to the back patio… Find us on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/groups/170995339630761/. Discover BLUF: www.bluf.com

October 27, 2012

Ms. San Francisco Leather Contest, Hotel Whitcomb. www.mssfleather.org

October 27-28, 2012

Liliane Hunt’s Training Camp. Fully immersive animal role play meets military fetish, outdoor adventures and overnight camping. (I checked to make sure gay men were welcome and Liliane responded “This event is built on masculine energy. We are VERY VERY welcoming and encouraging that type of energy. This event is about structure, commradre and feeling accomplished when it’s all over.) https://www.facebook.com/events/404630689585601/

November 4, 2012

Eagle in Exile, 3-8pm, Beer Bust + Bands + Benefits Sunday beer bust, meets Thursday Night Live filled with cheap beer, familiar faces & loud tunes, El Rio, SF.

November 17, 2012

- Fist City – Monthly fisting party for guys that like to play hard with few rules, Mr. S, 385A 8th Street, SF, 8pm-2am.

December 2, 2012

Eagle in Exile, 3-8pm, Beer Bust + Bands + Benefits Sunday beer bust, meets Thursday Night Live filled with cheap beer, familiar faces & loud tunes, El Rio, SF.

December 15, 2012

January 19, 2013

February 16, 2013

March 16, 2013

April 20, 2013

May 17-19, 2013

Northwest Leather Celebration (NWLC) 2013. Home of the Northwest regional Master/slave contest. Enjoy a full weekend of workshops, socials, play parties and more! Doubletree Hotel,

San Jose, CA. http://www.northwestleathercelebration.com/ and https://www.facebook.com/events/385017078219285/

May 18, 2013

May 24-27, 2013

International Mr. Leather, Chicago, IL. The host hotel for IML 2013 is the Marriott Chicago Downtown Magnificent Mile and room rates start at $169/tax. Click here to book your room: https://resweb.passkey.com/Resweb.do?mode=welcome_gi_new&groupID=11300324. Check out this site for more IML information: www.imrl.com

June 15, 2013

July 20, 2013

August 8, 2013

LLW Lucky 13 (Leather/Levi Weekend), Saratoga Springs Retreat Center. https://www.facebook.com/events/357106394365529/357122837697218/

August 17, 2013

September 21, 2013

October 19, 2013

November 16, 2013

December 21, 2013

Resources

This page serves as a central resources guide to everything kinky and of potential interest to the kink/leather men of San Franicisco and visitors. For now you’ll see just categories below mostly as I slowly fill this page with information. Stay tuned.

Calendar

Please reference the Race’s Bar Calendar for all canlendar entries and links to calendars managed by other groups. https://www.facebook.com/groups/kinkgatherings/doc/259460960742859/

Events

Gear Up Weekend. An annual gay men’s BDSM/kink weekend and other in-town events. http://www.gearupweekend.com/

Leathermen at the Movies. A movie group for SF leather/kink men. https://www.facebook.com/groups/150644498348320/

Clubs and Organizations

The 15 Association. Gay men’s BDSM play club. They also host regular BDSM play parties open to the public once properly screened. http://the15association.org/

The Rubber Men of San Francisco (Facebook group). https://www.facebook.com/groups/RubberMenofSanFrancisco/

Blufsf Leathermen (Facebook group). https://www.facebook.com/groups/170995339630761/

Folsom Street Events. Produces Up Your/Dore Alley and Folsom Street Fairs and other events. http://folsomstreetfair.org/

Education/Mentoring

Leathermen’s Discussion Group. Educational and discussion group holding monthly sessions. They also have a young men’s branch, a book club branch, and a mentoring program. http://www.sfldg.org/

Leathermen’s Discussion Group Mentoring Program starts a new 6-month cycle soon. http://sfldg.org/show_event.php?id=1345736970_884587

SF Ring – A BDSM educational group serving the gay and bisexual male community in Northern California with bimonthly meetings. http://www.sfring.org/

Bars

Note that I consider none of these full-time leather/kink bars, but they are the bars in San Francisco friendliest to knky gay men and they often host events of interest to us. If anyone thinks another bar should be added to the list, let me know. They often list events on their own websites and some have email list subscribers to whom they send out notices.

Powerhouse, http://www.powerhouse-sf.com/events.html

KOK Bar, http://www.kokbarsf.com/

The Edge, http://www.edgesf.com/

Truck, http://www.trucksf.com/

440, http://www.the440.com/

Pilsner Inn, http://www.pilsnerinn.com/

Lone Star Saloon, http://www.lonestarsf.com/

Stores

Mr. S Leather, 385 8th Street, SF. Perhaps the most famous brick and mortar and online leather/gear/toy company in the world for gay men. http://www.mr-s-leather.com/

Chaps, 4057 18th Street, SF. http://www.chapssf.com/

Sites and Blogs

Bannon.com (yes, shameless self-promotion). Not SF-specific usually, but I sometimes post things that are. http://www.bannon.com/

Leatherpage. Great site managed by SF’s own Leland Carina that often lists various kinky events and happenings in the SF/Bay Area. http://www.leatherpage.com/

Psychotherapy

Sometimes we can all use a bit of assistance to imporve ourselves and our lives. The people listed below are qualified and kink-friendly therapists. I’m listing them here because I or someone in our group has personal knowledge of them and the quality of their therapy. You can also reference the Kink Aware Professionals website too for additional referrals, but you can consider the one listed here fully vetted.

David Ortmann, LCSW, well-known and respected kink-aware therapist. He’s also a member of this group. http://www.dopsychotherapy.com/

Kink Aware Professionals is a referral service I started and have since turned over to the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom to maintain. Great resources for kink-aware psychtherapists, doctors and attorneys. https://ncsfreedom.org/resources/kink-aware-professionals-directory/kap-directory-homepage.html

Kink-Friendly Alcohol/Substance Support

Sober Kink Together, Friday nights, 9:30 pm – 10:45 pm at the Castro Country Club, 4058 18th St., officially a CMA meeting but open to all Anonymous 12-step Fellowship members. http://soberkink.wetpaint.com/page/Introduction

STD/STI Testing

Since many of the guys in this group are sexually active, it’s a good idea to get tested regularly. If your primary care doctor doesn’t do such testing during your regular visits, here are some local resources (I personally use Magnet the most often for my regular 3-month checkup when my doctor hasn’t done it).

Magnet (once you have a member ID, you can make appointment reservations online too). 4122 18th Street, San Francisco. http://www.magnetsf.org/

San Francisco City Clinic, 356 7th Street, San Francisco. http://www.sfcityclinic.org/

Travel

Live in or visit Los Angeles? Check out the Mike’s Bar Facebook group (run by Mike Gerle).

https://www.facebook.com/groups/mikesbar/

SF Eagle to reopen!

Leland — Wed, 29 Aug 2012 00:17:13 +0000

I could tell you how much this means to the San Francisco Leather community, but let me instead just point you to the official site so you can read the news directly from the source!

>> Read it on the official site.

IMsL loses venue; search for new space begins

Leland — Mon, 27 Aug 2012 16:51:53 +0000

From the Producers of International Ms. Leather Weekend:

Due to a change in management at the Holiday Inn Golden Gateway, IMsL will be moving to a new hotel beginning in 2013. We are committed to providing sex positive educational and social programming and to that end we are currently seeking a new venue to meet our needs. This will most likely result in a change from our previously announced dates. We regret any inconvenience this causes our attendees. We will let you know as soon as we have a new venue.

The Producers Of IMsL

Seattle to hold 2013 Leadership Conference

Leland — Wed, 22 Aug 2012 17:11:03 +0000

Despite the Leather Leadership Conference cancelling their 2013 conference in Seattle, the local organizing committee has decided to proceed!

>> read more on Leatherati

woof

Randy — Fri, 17 Aug 2012 19:26:29 +0000

by Randy (aka Tuck)

I think I’ve mentioned here before, but just in case it wasn’t clear, I’m into puppy play. Like a lot. Like a lot a lot. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not the only thing I’m into. I’m turned on by a wide variety of kink. You could say I’m an equal-opportunity kinkster. But when I’m asked to list my favorites, puppy play is definitely at the top. I wanted to explore this a little bit and find what exactly it is about this type of play that gets my tail wagging. (Yes, there will be puns. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.)

Before I go much further, let me be clear that I’m no expert. I haven’t conducted studies or written any papers. I just really, really like it and play around with it a lot. I’m only drawing from my own experience, which I would think should be self-explanatory, but I hear so many people complain about essays that the writer is only writing from his own point of view. This always trips me out, because what other point of view is he supposed to have? Anyway, these are my experiences. If you’re interested in exploring beyond what my virtual scribblings can attest to, I’ve listed a few websites and books for reference at the bottom of the page.

I should probably start with a brief definition of what puppy play is (for the untrained among us). At its most basic, puppy play is acting like a puppy (sounds simple, right?) or playing with said puppy. It’s a form of animal roleplay, although I think that most pups would probably tell you that they’re not playing a role, but rather unleashing the animal spirit already within. Personally, regular roleplay can seem a little silly to me—like I’m acting out a part. But I never feel that way with puppy play. I just feel like a puppy. And it feels great!

Pups can explore in variety of ways: with another pup, with a handler (the “human” or “owner” in the situation), in a group or one-on-one. And just as there are so many different breeds of bio pups (what we pup enthusiasts call “real” dogs) each with his (or her) own characteristics and traits, the same is true of human pups (a term I don’t 100% love, but I don’t really know a decent, commonly-accepted alternative).

Most puppies have a special pup name (after all, you’re not very likely to name your puppy Michael). While in some situations, the puppy is named by his handler, that’s not always the case. I waited for years for the right handler to come along and I finally got tired of waiting so I decided to name myself. I came up with a few names and had some guys from the SF K9 Unit (a social club for puppy players in San Francisco) vote on it. I wound up with the name Tuck, which I think suits me perfectly!

I bet you’re wondering how one gets into that puppy headspace (or as we say pupping out). It’s different for different pups. Some meditate to get into the right place. Other people do it with external gear: leather or rubber puppy hoods, mitts that restrict the use of a pup’s fingers, or something as simple as a dog collar. My own inner pup stays pretty close to the surface these days, so I just need to be in a safe space where I’m given permission to get down on all fours and before you know it, I’m romping.

It should be noted that puppy play doesn’t necessarily have to be sexual. I know many pups who really prefer not to mix the two. The thinking is that since you don’t have sex with your bio dog, you shouldn’t have sex with a human dog either. And it should be strongly noted that men who are into puppy play are not into bestiality. There may be some crossover, but one does not necessarily follow the other.

On the other hand, I know just as many pups (maybe with a little pig in them?) who not only prefer to mix sex with their play, they expect it. I count myself in the latter camp (but I will also happily play with pups in the former). This play can be combined with other sexual aspects of BDSM like pain, watersports, bondage or control. And that’s the lovely thing, there really is no right or wrong answer when it comes to puppy play. How you play is really between you and your partner.

As I mentioned, there is a lot of gear that can go along with puppy play, but it’s not necessary to have a full closet for your first time out. Some newer pups think that they can’t join in the game because they don’t have a full rubber catsuit ( a paradox, I know) with a puppy hood, tail, mitts, knee pads, etc. Absolutely none of that is necessary unless you want it. All you need is a puppy spirit and willingness to explore. The gear can come later (or not, depending on your personal needs). For me personally, I would rather see the look in a pup’s eyes over any dog mask/hood, but it’s different for everyone.

There are hierarchies in puppy play, but as a whole I find it to be a lot more fluid than other areas of the leather/kink world. While there is a D/s aspect—with the handler being the Dom and the pup being the sub—unlike a traditional Master/slave role (or even Daddy/boy) the pup has a lot more freedom. Of course some pups are better trained than others (and some handlers are more controlling than others). But finding that individual personality as a pup is all part of the fun.

Not all pup play has to involve a handler. Some dogs take on an alpha role and help mentor younger pups or play with them as pups together. Again, this could be sexual and/or romantic or not depending on the participants. It also doesn’t have to be within the context of play. I like to think of it as a big brother type of role with the alpha taking his pup under his paw and imparting his experience and wisdom. However, if you do find yourself in a play situation and there are more than two dogs playing together, I recommend that you have at least one handler present. Sometimes big dogs don’t know their own strength and little dogs get overly aggressive. A little bruising/scratching is to be expected, but you don’t want your puppy to get seriously injured.

While I find that I identify as a submissive around 90% of the time, puppy play is one of the few areas where I find that I’m more apt to switch. In fact, these days I seem to be doing more handling than pupping out. Trust me, I’m not complaining. If cute young pups want to come to me for me training, I feel like it would be rude of me to send them packing. Also, I’ve been making a strong effort to not discount what I have to offer. I may still have a lot of puppy in me, but I also have a lot I can provide to my brother pups.

So after all that, I still really haven’t explained just why this turns me on. Let me see if I can fix that. A lot of times I tend to be overly analytical or intellectualize too much. When I get down in pup space, I don’t really worry about anything like that. I just be. If I want to play ball, I play ball. If I want to nap (which is a lot), I nap. I piss when I need to piss or at the very least whine for my handler so he can let me. I’m not feral, so I do respond to commands and training, but even that can be relaxing as I’m spared the necessity of thinking too much. And when I play with a handler I can really trust and rely on, I’m in heaven. I just let go knowing that he will take care of me, which is insanely freeing.

I mentioned the fluidity of the scene and that’s definitely important to me. I’ve never been very good at strict roles so I really don’t fit in with an “old guard” mentality. I’m not disparaging it; it’s just never been for me (I’m too mouthy, I guess). Anyway, I feel like as a pup, I get more of a chance to go off on my own puppy way. Of course as a stray dog (at the moment), I have a little more leeway than a collared pup might have.

And finally the most important reason of all…it’s just FUN. Don’t believe me? Chase a ball sometime and get back to me. Sometimes the guys/gals of the leather world get so damn serious and you just want to tell them to lighten the fuck up. When you’re around puppies, you just can’t help but have fun (unless you’re a hateful person in which case we don’t want you anyway). Finally, I feel that letting your inner animal out is vitally important for your own mental health and well-being. I’ve heard a lot of pups express this credo: if you can’t eat it, hump it or play with it, then piss on it and walk away. Maybe our lives would be simpler if we all lived this way (wetter perhaps, but a lot more fun).

*wags*
Tuck

Wikipedia – Puppy Play

Puppy power – for men who like it ruff

Woof!: Perspectives into the Erotic Care and Training of the Human Dog, by Michael Daniels

The Puppy Manifesto

PupZone

Seattle Leadership Conferece Poll

Leland — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 04:20:57 +0000

Per the Press Release issued by the Leather Leadership Conference on July 31st, the current LLC board has decided to cancel the Seattle conference. The Seattle Local Organizing Committee has received a lot of encouragement to proceed with a conference of some kind.

The Seattle Committee has decided it is willing to do this and is currently running a survey to gauge the level of support and determine what the community is seeking from such a conference. The Survey can be accessed at [http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/seattleleadership]. Please provide your perspective on what you would include if you were creating a new leadership and community building conference.

The team will be meeting Thursday August 16th and will use the survey results to determine our go forward plans. All input is appreciated, both pro and con. The survey will continue beyond the 16th if is decided to proceed with a conference and will help shape the event.

Paradox of Dominance: Distance and Connection

Leland — Wed, 08 Aug 2012 19:08:28 +0000

by Dr. Richard A. Sprott

Originally conceived in November 2004, republished to Leatherpage with permission

Dominance has a voyeuristic quality to it. I think the act of watching is the initial mode of Dominance. Seeing, inspecting, watching, observing. There is something controlling about watching others, there is a sense of intrusion into private space, a crossing of boundaries. “Big Brother” is watching. Commanders inspect their troops. Masters are fully clothed, slaves are naked. boys are put on display and paraded before others. In a scene, I get to watch the bottom go through an amazing set of experiences that I initiate.

Voyeurism requires distance. In a typical voyeuristic scene, there is something that separates the voyeur from his object of desire; a pane of glass, the viewfinder in a telescope or binoculars, just a few feet of empty space.

In so far that Dominance has a voyeuristic side, Dominance involves distance. But there are other aspects of Dominance which also require distance.

Distance is required so as to not get totally absorbed in the moment. The bottom is the one who gets to be completely absorbed in the moment; if a Dom does that, he cannot plan ahead, nor can he be vigilant for potential problems and threats to the scene. The Dom cannot be responsible without standing back.

Distance is an expression of a deep sense of autonomy, the self-contained and self-regulating characteristic that marks a Dom. Not worrying about what other people think, taking direction and initiative informed by One’s own sense of desire, ethics, esthetics, worldview – isn’t that why we are attracted to Doms, leaders, Masters?

And yet, a Dom is into the scene because of the basic human need for connection. How can We Dominate unless there is someone who submits? I get involved in a scene so that we both can “fly” – but as a Dom, I fly on the back of My boy, My slave, My steed, in a symbiotic relationship. But it is a paradox: I fly and yet I don’t fly; I observe, inspect, control from a distance and yet I am deeply connected to My boy, My slave, My sub.

When I was younger, I thought that any sign of a deep emotional connection was a threat to My Dominance, because it meant that I wasn’t keeping the proper amount of distance. And in my youth, the presence of emotional and psychological distance in my interactions was taken by me as a sign of My Dominance as a Master or Top. Nowadays, I realize that this is a psychological and spiritual “mistake.” The deep sense of autonomy that marks a Dom is not in conflict with the deep sense of connection that makes BDSM magic work. The deep sense of connection is part of the reason we play with desire and eros in the first place; fighting that connection in order to maintain a Dominant role is to be in conflict with oneself. The solution of the paradox is to be both autonomous and connected at the same time, and distance is not autonomy.

Distance is not autonomy. While emotional and psychological distance is a necessary first step (even craved, especially in adolescence) to allow for autonomy, autonomy itself is not about the distance between one person and another. Having a sense of one’s own desire and wishes and acknowledging them as valid and separate from others is autonomy. Using self-chosen moral principles, informed by others but not imitating others blindly, is autonomy. Having a vision for the world that matches one’s self as completely as possible, honoring all parts of one’s self – that is autonomy. In all of these aspects of autonomy, there is no mention of distance. Distance allows the space for autonomy to develop; distance is the “father” and autonomy is the “son” – related but distinct aspects of Dominance.

Again, we find that there is a profound paradox in Dominance, one that is often misunderstood. One of the consequences of misunderstanding, of being in conflict with oneself in BDSM dynamics, is that we end up hurting ourselves or hurting our partners, emotionally. We end up being cruel or distancing ourselves from our partners in a misguided attempt to shore up our feeling of Dominance. Or we limit our own ability to “fly” – and if we do that, then why are we playing in the first place?

Dr. Richard A. Sprott

Leatherati townhall

Leland — Sun, 05 Aug 2012 19:23:26 +0000

There is a town hall meeting tonight over at Leatherati.com at 5pm Pacific time.

It will be on the subject of BDSM education. I highly encourage the movers and shakers of our community to attend and participate!

>> more info on Leatherati